Trust - Broken Trust in Conscious Relationships


Trust - Broken Trust in Conscious Relationships


we feel trespassed,

we assume, that our partner has abused freedom in some way, has compromised our sacred trust, we so carefully bestow only onto a few people.

We feel feelings. We don’t like those feelings. It tightens and contracts us. So what can we do? 

We can only know this trust from within ourselves.

Do we trust our inner knowing to go forth into a situation, new territory, new opening with another?

We all have stories of past, ridiculously painful and treacherous roads we have travelled with another because we trusted…


Trust and Truth


Is there a difference?

Trust is opening to truth. Allowing trust to move us into truth, to surface from our hiding place, to be transparent, intuiting our chosen relationship into more knowing, more truth of who we are, deeper into knowing our selves.

Is truth then, allowing our inner trust to navigate us into knowing freedom?

Allowing, surrendering to this inner knowing brings great freedom.

We move forward into trusting ourselves with another only once past memories and wounds are healed. Its easier to feel we cannot trust another, than to have the courage to allow our selves to navigate the truth of whom we are in the eyes of another.

We are truly never broken and nothing needs healing, life cannot break us, remember? Life is trying to uphold life and live through you as you, whole and safe. Situations that we experience along the journey will not be the end of us but the beginning of us. Rebirth. Suffering, alas, is the great fuel that burns the blocks of knowing freedom. Less blocks, less suffering…

We need to empty the container, the vessel where we create relationships from past stuff, or else if will always trigger more of the same untrust, broken trust.

None of us is safe from this experience, because is through experiencing insecurities that will cause us to open to trusting truth.

It’s not the safety of a relationship we are looking for, on this great path of self realization but the opposite. If we have the courage to open and be seen, and be experienced by another you, as you.

We have the option, free will, to close down and not allow further intrusion into our essence. We have the right to erect boundaries and roadblocks. After all is not about suffering as much as it is about growth and becoming whole.

Yet, when we create gates of protection, the guardians at the gate, we are also becoming prisoners on the inside and that will inevitably cause sorrow and separation from the love that is YOU.

There is only love within. When you stop for a moment and feel your heart, under your hand and breathe for a few long breaths, what do you feel? Truly? 


Guilt and Innocence


Those words we said, what we didn’t say. How we reacted. How as much as we tried, it didn’t work out… If only…  

What of innocence? For when we are purely open and vulnerable in the eyes of another there is no guilt or shame. If shame is there is not ours. It never was. Because, shame does not reside in innocence. No. And this ‘no’ is a full sentence! If you believe in the original sin you’ve been reading a comic book!

Love and innocence reside in each other, any other way is not love.


Blame game


Fault calling is the fast way to feel temporarily empowered in a critical moment of a relationship. It is inevitably censoring our road towards trust.

We yearn to be seen. To be seen we need to allow openness. Will we allow this when all things are going wrong in front of our eyes? All of nature will protect itself in alarm at the sight of danger. That is good.

Closed up in the heat of danger and escaping the situation is not the same as blocking our ability to relate and making a subconscious decision to not feel and not experience our selves unfolding in the eye of another.

See the difference? It is still about trusting the truth of who we are, beyond the circumstances.

Even as past and present experience triggers unbearable remembrance, we always have a choice: to trust our ability to navigate into trust and find freedom.  




The evolutionary path of truth and love is a wondrous one.

Freedom is no restrictions to move, unimpeded dance in and out of each other’s waters. Intimacy is freedom to be seen, as we are, beyond our raw nakedness and vulnerability. Kingdom/queendom of the free is ours when we allow truth to prevail within our inner landscape.

Are we ready to break open those gates, remove the blocks, built a “hearthighway” into trusting ourselves in the eyes of another?

It is time!

May your trust journey be inspired by immeasurable trust for life, guided by truth and love, courageous and free into the arms of the Beloved!

Trust - Truth – Freedom

Trust the powerful force that resides within you, and be open to the knowing that you are ok, more than ok, and all twists and turns on the road to love have been invitations to know this truth.


In love xx always


Anouk Sophia - 2015









The Inner Child and Fear of Relating


The Inner Child and Fear of Relating

We are all in this together.

Remember you are a beautiful Soul, you are not broken and nothing needs fixing.

We have all experienced being told not to speak, not to laugh, not to cry, not to be inappropriate, as a child.

Perhaps we where sent to our room to be alone and we had a sense that we did something wrong. We felt we where not loved, misunderstood and not heard.

Even still it may have been the opposite, we where right there, with much to say, and we felt ignored and invisible. Expressing anything at all, may have been unwelcomed or we where told we where laying and thus felt discredited and unworthy.




Is all going to be ok. You are now a grown adult and can embrace your inner child, welcome her into your loving space and listen to her/him. Let her know it is now safe to be herself, to communicate her fears and dreams. We are now in the future.

(here if you wish put a favourite meaningful song on, lay down on a confortable nurturing space, breath deep and offer your heart emotions and perhaps tears to her. Welcome her back into your self and out of the oblivion of a closed room or invisibility. Comfort her and listen, even take a walk in nature with her, dance in the wind and become one again.)

We are born to the parents of our choosing, to the family of souls that take the journey on earth many times together, to clear karmic ties and fulfill family agreements. Some of us have had to go through a lot of considerable abuse and agonizing pain and suffering to get to adulthood.


Again, breathe.


Often we have been given little or no tools, as a new incarnate soul to deal with such atrocities and see a way of protection by using the ego mechanics of survival as a way to navigate such ordeal. I use the word ‘ego’ here, to mean the organic body consciousness, the physical body reflex, the survival instinct.

Once we tap into the instinct of survival and protection, we navigate blindly our way through difficulties, we avoid conflict, perhaps, or we create drama to somehow be above the ordeal and become powerful. We literally swing the pendulum to the other side polarity to experience the opposite of what has been just experienced.

This power over something/someone, is the ego inflating the instinctual ability to protect the physical into attempting to protect the emotional body as well.

From this ego power/control perspective, we become so focused on the survival and protection that we stay locked in a polarity that often keeps us unable to perceive, until we are triggered by a relationship.

Here is the thing, potentially, if we get lost in this ego journey of power and protection of the inner child woundings, we will find difficulty in growing and maturing into our fully boundless, open, allowing, free self and ready to experience another.

All the wounded feelings are of the ego. It is not bad nor good, it just is.

Of course, all the emotions are real. Yes, there where real perpetrators and abusers along the way, but they never got to your Soul.

The Soul does not get hurt or wounded, or raped or mistreated or unloved.

Your Soul knows all things are in balance with the dance of universal wisdom in every moment.

If we resonate with this information, we are the illuminated ones.

Let the light of your selflove infuse your being and allow that just today, in this moment, you will allow yourself to be a little braver than a minute ago, and open, open, open.

The Soul does not need healing.

Become vulnerable again, from here we will access our self love, our self understanding, self compassion. Sounds like madness, I know, however, once we know this simple truth we can embody our play, joy, lightness. Our uncomplicated curiosity, to be sensuous, fluid and yes! Absolutely open for a boundlessly loving, explosively creative, deliciously orgasmic life.

As I see it, the only way to release our story to soar into alchemical transformation is to face our fears.

The protection tool the ego so generously offered may be revisited now, with the friendship of your inner child walking along side you, holding your hand.

We are in the future. From here you discover your inner child is wise and unwavered by all the past life’s events. She has been in the future “” all along, beckoning to you to get here.

We ARE in the future.

All barriers to love are gone.

Here we breath deeply and love wildly!


We are all one under the same sky xx


Anouk Sophia 2015















Sacred Stones

beachy head.jpg
A story worth remembering

The wild coast of Sussex is both beautiful and terrifying. Beachy Head is a place where the white chalky cliffs stand majestically cracked open, as a reminder that once they where united with the lands on the other side: France. 

Just another windy morning, when I left the house with my two companions, Lili and Beety, my goldens, for our blusterous walk. It was winter 1999 and there was change in the wind. My marriage was fading and I still had three children under the age of 12. My heart was listening into an ancient song, This ancient, indescribable sound that tugged deliciously at me, like the vanilla parfum, of night scented stocks on a summer's night. As I looked far into the grey distance, across the English Channel I knew only one thing.

It was four years, before I listened to that call in the wind, to go over to the other side, to France.

So this is the beginning of my remembering journey, as so many of you would like to know, I actually had really never heard of Mary Magdalene, nor had I read any books on the subject. . I simply followed my heart into those marvellous lands. Once there, I began to drive up mountains and sit by the rivers. I visited tiny villages a top mountains and followed narrow paths into caves and forgotten castles. 

I stumbled into the story of a lady who held a great remembrance.

A woman who is both mother and lover and is not afraid to stand for truth against all odds. A feminine essence that loved and lost, and continues to share herself in the wells of love. A 'Meri' so strong she keeps getting up when all constructs are bringing her down,  wisely holding the promise for the time of now.

Holding the flame for a dream of a love yet untold.

I had absorbed christianity and embraced buddhist teachings. I had become a teacher and a nurse. I had joined churches and slammed those same doors behind me. I looked at paganism, astrology and Druid ways. I had spend the most part of two decades crying my eyes out, looking for what I know as the divine beloved, masculine/feminine as one. All and none had pointed me to Her.

She was inside me. I needed to stop looking to find Her.

The sacred stones held the memory until I was ready to come back and collect it. The lands so many of us call sacred France, holds the potential memory, of what you may call, 'portals, entryways, gateways' into knowing.